Growing up, my favorite game show was The Newlywed Game and yes I was a horny teenager who liked to hear the word "Whoopie". Game Show Network has revived it and to say the least has completely destroyed it. There are ways to fix it and it is pretty simple, make it like the show it used to be. Hey, I know you have to dumb it down a little for the short attention spans of the MTV audience you are trying to "entertain" but there was nothing wrong with the original. Here is how you fix it.
1. Get rid of Carnie Wilson Now!
And I don't care how, if you have to tie her to the back of a truck and drag her out of there, do it. Not only would that be satisfying for me but you would probably get better ratings than you do now showing that instead of her speaking another word on my TV. Seriously, what were you thinking when she interviewed, "Ummm, she has never succeeded at anything and she will make our viewers want to punch her in the face. Let's hire her". The fact that Bob Eubanks wanted to do the show only infuriates me more. Bob is the perfect host for this show and the only other person who could pull this off would be George Gray who hosted The Weakest Link, two people who are funny in a smart ass kinda way. Not someone who thinks saying "Too Much Information" 809 times a show is still funny. Seriously, if you put monkeys in the zoo on for a half hour I would be more entertained than listening to Carnie say "Let's Play" or "Goldyweds who appeared on the show way back in 1977" one more time. Man, she is annoying, even the audience is bored and about to form a mob just so they don't have to hear another word from her.
2. Quit Feeding Them All the Answers!
One of the best parts of the old show was letting the contestants fill in the 'blank'. The show should be about the contestants and not your completely in over their heads writers. What, were you able to snap them up after they got fired from "The Hills". When you feed them the answers all of your choice are boring, even though Carnie tries to make them sexy, which makes me want to vomit. 90% of your questions where you feed them the answer don't need a list to choose from as the contestants could come up with funnier answers than your writer and also makes the show more unpredictable. Seriously, do you think you need to feed answers to questions like: "Who is your husbands favorite football player: Tom Brady, LeRoy Hoard, or Mitch Berger?" The answer is: No, Absolutely Not, I Would Love To Smack Carnie Wilson with One of These Answer Cards.
3. Get Rid of The Goldyweds Round and Go Back To 4 Couples and an Extra Question in the Second Round!
Hey, you know what we should do? Lets spend the last 10 minutes of the show asking 5 boring questions of the couple and the Goldyweds. They could be questions like "Who was the last to forget to set the alarm?". Oh my god, he said she was and she said he was, oh man is that funny!! Kill me now.
4. Drop the E-Harmony Crap!
"The E-Harmony Dimension Today is Compatibility: If you were to do a crossword puzzle would it be: On the Couch, On the Patio, or If I Was Doing A Crossword Puzzle Right Now, I would use the pen to stab Carnie through the temple?" Ok, maybe that would be funny, but the E-Harmony questions are useless...E-Harmony is a dating site and these people are already married, do you see how stupid that is?
Ok, that was a little bit hostile for a first post, but this show infuriates me, mainly because it is a show that I used to love and they completely destroyed it. The next posts will be more humor and less rage, I promise. That should be an E-Harmony Dimension, Rage.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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